You must experience hardship in order to grow.
Since I have suffered I am being developed into something better than my former version of me.
I have been single for one month now. There is a kind of freedom I am finding. It was not a fun decision to become single but it was my decision, and I have remained firm in the belief that it was the right one. I have decided that I do not have time for anything less than the best, and I used up my amount of ‘best’ with him. It still left a scar. All the same, trees cannot stand and grow without wind and I needed wind. Water that does not move stagnates and I was beginning to.
Let old things die.
It is very strange not to be someone’s girlfriend right now. But more than anything I am me. I advised a friend on this- I am free. I should like to be free for the rest of my life. Freedom does not mean alone always, freedom means I am free to choose. I will have to be very sure about something to stay with it ‘for the sake of it’.
If you are not prepared to walk away from something, that something will always have more control over you than you do. By calling bluffs and challenging everything, you retain control of your own life by expecting it to continuously meet higher standards.
I am the one thing in life I can (even somewhat) control.
Everything else is throwing yourself in the closest approximate direction and hoping for the best. Just like flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing, success is throwing yourself at failure and missing.
I read a book by my grandfather that spoke of ‘a high tolerance for failure’ and stated that ‘anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you can learn to do it well’. I adopt this mentality in my art now, learning to go with complete over perfect. This is the mentality I teach with my piano students. Start slow, start badly. The more you do it, the better you get.
I will never be satisfied with ‘good enough’, I seek to constantly improve and build higher. Each stage of life is a stepping stone to the next.